[FEB 22: L'Arche, the community founded by Jean Vanier, has just released a report that reveals that Vanier engaged in abusive and manipulative sexual relationships with at least six women under the guise of spiritual accompaniment.]
I was grateful to receive an advance proof copy of the upcoming release, Jean Vanier: Portrait of a Free Man, from Plough Publishing. In fact, it reached me within a week of Vanier's death, as I wrote earlier. I have not written more about the book until now because from the very first pages the work (which could be called an "authorized biography") by Anne-Sophie Constant made very clear that it was not to be consumed, but contemplated.
There were lines in the Introduction that stayed with me for days. "Yes, this." That was my response to certain expressions, certain choices Vanier made along his ninety-year journey of discipleship. The L'Arche founder could have become such a different man, given his background: His father was at the top of a list of the 100 most important Canadians of all time; his mother was a chancellor of the University of Ottawa. But he followed a mysterious call, one that led along a way no one would have planned.
He left home as a boy of 13, crossing an ocean during wartime to attend the Royal Naval College (with his parents' somewhat bewildered blessing). Later, he acknowledged the striking gift his father had given him in that act of emancipation: Had the permission been denied, Jean would have obeyed; would have stayed close to hearth and home; would have followed a scholarly path to the priesthood, lived a devout life. But he would not have changed the lives of tens of thousands: disabled people, their families, their assistants, the witnesses of the communal life of L'Arche.
Constant takes us through Vanier's life, but also into Vanier's life with Jesus, because the driving force for Jean Vanier has been his desire to live with Jesus. This is what led him as a young naval officer to take the night watch and use it to pray Matins, and to use his shore leave to go to Mass; what inspired him to spend "a year" (he ended up with a doctoral degree) studying theology in France as a kind of discernment period while he focused on his future; what prompted him to invite the first disabled men to leave the institution where they were housed and share a home with him, that "ark" which became the first of many.
It was unsettling to read a book that was meant to celebrate the life of a man who was still on this earth as its last paragraphs were written (just this past January). I can't imagine the publisher pulling the proof from the printing schedule and updating the whole text to reflect Vanier's recent death, but the book is so beautiful I think it would be worth doing. This is a book that can be (ought to be!) fruitfully brought to prayer.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. In addition, I received a review copy of the book mentioned above for free in the hope that I would publish a review of it. I am committed to giving as honest a review as possible, as part of my community's mission of putting media at the service of the truth. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
Making Media choices, part 2
Continuing yesterday's reflection on how we use media:
I recently fielded a question on Facebook from someone who perhaps just needed to hear herself express the doubt in order to know her own mind. I'll share the exchange here, since it was in a public forum. Please weigh in with your own feedback on this.
I recently fielded a question on Facebook from someone who perhaps just needed to hear herself express the doubt in order to know her own mind. I'll share the exchange here, since it was in a public forum. Please weigh in with your own feedback on this.
Hi, I really like this TV show called "Pretty Little Liars". I was wondering if watching this show is sinful. It has sex scenes, homosexuality, evil themes, etc. I am not led to sin in any way but am I sinning by watching it?
I do not know the show you mention, but you could simply ask yourself: Is this show all about sex, homosexuality, infidelity, and evildoing? If so, then what it is doing is filling your mind and imagination with those things, and bending your heart toward them. Even if you do not directly sin during or after the show, you are being "conditioned" to familiarity and comfort with them. This "normalization of evil" is the precursor to a very dangerous situation for your mind, heart and relationships.
There are some programs that are spectacularly well-written, but in which there
- Do you really depend on this particular show for entertainment?
- Why?
- What void does it fill? (This is a super important question to reflect on.)
- What else can you watch--or DO--to relax, that does not regularly depend on themes that are unwholesome?
are definite portrayals of evil. (One example would be "Breaking Bad.") In shows like these, the characters are extremely well developed, real "persons" with stunningly good qualities, who make choices that led them, little by little, in the direction of evil. The harmful consequences of their choices is also very clearly portrayed in the show: there is no "glamorization of evil" such as you often find in afternoon TV dramas ("soap operas"). Evil LOOKS like evil. It makes you feel ill. That is an appropriate portrayal of evil. Even though the whole story line depends on evil, it is not an evil that captures your imagination in a way that stirs desire, but that tells the truth: evil makes us less and less human, less and less like God.
Is that what "Pretty Little Liars" does? Even the title makes me doubtful of that.
These are questions to ask about any media choices.
Monday, May 20, 2019
Making media choices
This weekend I gave a really brief social media workshop in a Cambridge parish. The participants were mostly Holy Family Institute novices and their families, and a few other parishioners. I've also been doing some moderating of our community's Facebook pages. So I've had "social" and "media" on my mind over the past few weeks.
When I first entered the Daughters of St Paul (in 1975!), I would never have thought to put the two words together: social was one thing, media another. (Even now, isn't "social media" social life for introverts?) But more than ten years before I joined the #MediaNuns, the world's bishops had been seriously thinking about media, and it was they who put "social" and "media" together. In fact, they prized the "social" dimension. What good is media, the bishops at Vatican II asked, without the people behind the technologies and messages of communications?
Now I am reflecting in a different way: social media and Theology of the Body. The teachings of Theology of the Body on what it means to be made in the image of the Trinitarian God perfectly align with the Church's 1971 definition of communications: "the giving of self in love."
Maybe “self-giving” isn’t the first thing you think of in terms of communication. But ultimately, all worthwhile communication points in this direction. This is the best we can offer, right? It means we’re holding nothing back, communicating everything: and the giving of self in love is perfect communication when it is mutual, as in the Divine Trinity.
When God wants to communicate his love to the world, he comes in person, in a human body: Jesus! When he wants his Gospel to go to the ends of the earth until the end of time, he wants it to be visible in US. For we who are the created images of the Trinity, the basic “media” is the human body itself. (Come to think about it, even our media technology depends completely on our bodies.) WE are the media! Our words are very important, but our lives are the real communication. We are second only to the Eucharist in being the Real Presence of Jesus on earth: body, blood, soul, and—yes, that share in the divine nature that makes us a communication of God. We are the greatest media of communication on earth.
And this filters all the way down to our everyday choices, including the choices we make about how we use media technology: picking up our cell phone while at the wheel; scrolling through messages during a boring meeting; checking "that" website ("just this once"); indulging in a questionable TV show...
The definition of communications can be a good basis for an examen on our way of using Instagram or Facebook, or whatever our favorite social media or TV show or gaming device is.
When I first entered the Daughters of St Paul (in 1975!), I would never have thought to put the two words together: social was one thing, media another. (Even now, isn't "social media" social life for introverts?) But more than ten years before I joined the #MediaNuns, the world's bishops had been seriously thinking about media, and it was they who put "social" and "media" together. In fact, they prized the "social" dimension. What good is media, the bishops at Vatican II asked, without the people behind the technologies and messages of communications?
Now I am reflecting in a different way: social media and Theology of the Body. The teachings of Theology of the Body on what it means to be made in the image of the Trinitarian God perfectly align with the Church's 1971 definition of communications: "the giving of self in love."
Maybe “self-giving” isn’t the first thing you think of in terms of communication. But ultimately, all worthwhile communication points in this direction. This is the best we can offer, right? It means we’re holding nothing back, communicating everything: and the giving of self in love is perfect communication when it is mutual, as in the Divine Trinity.
When God wants to communicate his love to the world, he comes in person, in a human body: Jesus! When he wants his Gospel to go to the ends of the earth until the end of time, he wants it to be visible in US. For we who are the created images of the Trinity, the basic “media” is the human body itself. (Come to think about it, even our media technology depends completely on our bodies.) WE are the media! Our words are very important, but our lives are the real communication. We are second only to the Eucharist in being the Real Presence of Jesus on earth: body, blood, soul, and—yes, that share in the divine nature that makes us a communication of God. We are the greatest media of communication on earth.
And this filters all the way down to our everyday choices, including the choices we make about how we use media technology: picking up our cell phone while at the wheel; scrolling through messages during a boring meeting; checking "that" website ("just this once"); indulging in a questionable TV show...
The definition of communications can be a good basis for an examen on our way of using Instagram or Facebook, or whatever our favorite social media or TV show or gaming device is.
- How is this app/show/game/device helping me be more present…for the gift of self that the people I am with need or have a right to?
- How is this app/show/game/device pulling me away from the people who have a right to my attention or service (and this means at work, too)?
- What strategies do you want to put in place to safeguard the values of family, privacy, community, balance?
Tuesday, May 14, 2019
Living with the Least: Jean Vanier UPDATED FEB 22, 2020

[FEB 20, 2020: [FEB 22: L'Arche, the community founded by Jean Vanier, has just released a report that reveals that Vanier engaged in abusive and manipulative sexual relationships with at least six women under the guise of spiritual accompaniment.]
Thanks to Plough Publishing, I just received an advanced proof copy of Jean Vanier: Portrait of a Free Man, a biography of the L'Arche founder, who died last week at age 90.
Vanier has been an inspiration to me since the early 90's,
when I first encountered his writings and his witness of living with
the profoundly disabled. He taught the world what he learned from
experience. His book, Community and Growth, is one of the textbooks for our novices--with good reason.
Life in community with the
profoundly afflicted means more than community meals and prayers; it means close companionship and intimate forms
of service. The poor, the vulnerable, the fragile, especially those with serious
intellectual and physical disabilities, are unable to mask their weaknesses or
needs. They cry out until their needs are addressed, whether it is
the need for water, or to be heard, or to be shifted in one's
wheelchair, or for a diaper change... Vanier knew that we can run, but we can't hide from these cries, because what the poor ones are doing is articulating the hurt and weakness all of us feel, but that some of us (the "strong" and "capable" ones) are able to divert, cover up or compensate for (temporarily).
My takeaway from Vanier from the 90's and to this day is this: Encountering people who insist on showing me their wounds, who, as it were, demand from me the charity of my attention or my kindness, tends to arouse not compassion, but resentment in me. Sometimes I just don't have the resources to keep up the act and I respond with a sharp word that reveals my weaknesses
to me so that I, too, find myself crying out to God and to others
for the forgiveness, reconciliation, tenderness, acceptance that I might ordinarily have too much ill-conceived self-respect to beg my neighbors for (until the time comes when I will have grown in tenderness and vulnerability myself and will be gracefully able to manifest my needs in freedom).
Such a powerful message. And it all
came from Vanier's willingness to hand his life over to the Gospel
whole and entire. Between Mother Teresa and Jean Vanier, the modern
world was given this matched set, this image of the complementarity
of masculine and feminine love for the ones society would trample
down, cast away or at least keep out of sight. Instead, Vanier and
Mother Teresa made the “least ones” the center of their
community, telling everyone who would listen that they would find
Jesus in serving them. What a privilege it has been to be their
contemporaries! (And what a challenge!)
For further reading:
L'Arche UK (Official): Announcing the Death of Jean Vanier
Christianity Today: Jean Vanier Made Us All More Human
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