Learning from Pope John Paul's big mistake

Before I was a blogger, my principle outlet for writing was my prayer journal. I process things in writing; I ask Jesus questions in writing; I even worry in writing! One time, years ago, I wrote to Jesus suggesting that my schedule would work a lot better a certain way…and my superior came into chapel within ten minutes to tell me that she needed to change my schedule (to the way I had described in my journal). Not one year ago, I wrote to my recently-deceased mother about a painful memory from her final illness, and got her answer--and a very appropriate one it was--when my pen ran out of ink mid-sentence. (I could practically hear her tell me, "Stop that right now!" So I did.) During our monthly retreat day, I sometimes review what I've written, looking for traces of Jesus' footprints in my life.

So I've ended up with over 20 years' worth of these written reflections, in a variety of notebooks: some of them outdated daybooks, donated by office supply stores; others large format, hardcover books; spiral bound; paperback. A hefty box full of memories. And with an impending move, they represented a question: Do I keep this record of suffering and grace in storage, or do I pitch it now?

Pope John Paul made the big mistake of keeping his journals around, leaving it to his longtime secretary to "dispose of them" after his death. You can now buy the 600+ page volume in the Polish edition.

My notes will have far less interest than those of a soon-to-be sainted Pope, but still.

So today I am finishing the job. Having flipped through the pages of each volume, asking the Lord to make anything significant pop out at me so I could record it for myself (behind a password!), I ripped out every page and fed them two or three sheets at a time, into a shredder. (Didn't want the Dumpster divers in our back alley to leave my soul exposed out there in the weather.)

As I slowly emptied the shredder over and over into the growing collection of trash bags, I found a record of a lot of grace, a lot of places where the Word of God really was a "light to my path." I also realized that I am going to have to be a lot more careful about what kind of notebook I use for future journals. Those hardcover, full sized ones have really heavy paper.

So you can learn from my mistake, too!

Afternoon meditation: Inshallah

Thanks to St. James and today's first reading, I've gotten into the habit of adding "God willing" when responding to invitations or making plans. (I still need to add it to my prayers when facing something I dread, to remind me that God is over all!)

The Gospel shows us Jesus' way of applying this act of confidence in God: when John catches some upstarts using the name of Jesus to work a miracle, Jesus sees it as something that glorifies his name (and, of course, that of his Father). Such a miracle could not have been accomplished had not God willed it. John, needless to say, saw it as an intrusive, competitive act--because John was "seeing as human beings do and not as God sees."

What can I do today to receive God's way of seeing things, even the things I don't want to see?

Afternoon meditation: A greater grace

Did you notice the little phrase in today's first reading, almost a throwaway line, in the first reading? James first writes about wayward desires, the kind that lead to envy and killing and war, and make a person an enemy of God. Then, in building toward his exhortation to humility, he says "he bestows a greater grace."

Whoever receives one such
child in my name,
receives me.

Then we have the Gospel, which is a two-fold (or even threefold) story. In scene 1, Jesus is foretelling his own death--but, as clear as the prediction is, his focus is not on what human beings will do. It is on  "a greater grace": "three days after his death, the son of Man will rise."

The apostles missed that. They were too busy establishing themselves in the first place. That was scene 2, a kind of backstory. It's almost a picture of James' earlier scenario. (They have yet to be transformed by the renewing of their minds.)

In scene 3, Jesus is sitting "in the house," setting the apostles straight. The top spots they are lusting after, Jesus says, go to those who "empty themselves and take the form of a slave"--or of a little child. Because there is "a greater grace" at stake.

By word and example, Pope Francis has been inviting us to take this Gospel to heart: to receive the little ones, the powerless and poor, as Christ; to make ourselves the servants of those around us--not with the disposition of a doormat, but with the attitude of someone who actually has something to give.

"If you only knew the gift of God!" Jesus told the Samaritan (John 4). My prayer today is to recognize the "greater grace" that is being offered me, especially when the goods I have my eye on don't come my way!

The long,long Lent of the Christians in Syria...

The Angel helping Hezekiah in the struggle against
a Syrian despot. From the Walters Art Museum.

Here is a bulletin from the Archbishop in Damascus (English translation of the French original):

Syria: A fourth Lent spent in war?

(1) A CHAOTIC SITUATION:

A fourth year Lent spent in war will mean pain and violence. The Geneva II peace conference¹ hasn’t change anything at the moment. New streams of refugees come to our parishes exceeding our resources. Our social and pastoral action is primarily focused on support of the affected families. Here is a highlight of our weaknesses, limits and many challenges:

• 150 000 families are deprived of their father.
• 2 million dwellings are destroyed.
• 2 million families without shelter
• 12 million refugees
• 3 million in the neighboring countries,
• 9 million are displaced in their own country.
• 2 million students without school.
• The economy is in ruins; our currency has devalued by 300%.
• There is growing violence every day: anguish and bitterness.
• An embargo chokes everyone, especially the children, the poor, the hospitals and medical sector.
• The list of the suffering is endless

(2) CAN WE TAKE THIS ROUTE?

The Christians of Syria accounted for 4.5% of the population before the war. What will it be after the war? 47 churches have closed; two priests and a nun have been martyred. Two bishops, three priests and 12 nuns were abducted. The Christians of Syria share the same pain of their fellow citizens. How do we reassure this little flock inhabited by fear? Could these Christians in this ancient Biblical land which lit the flame of the Gospel, leave?

This little flock draws in the faith of St Paul converted and baptized in Damascus, and on the strength of his testimony. We celebrated the conversion of St Paul on January 25th at the chapel of Ananias, and June 29th we celebrate Liturgy at the Chapel St. Paul at the wall of the old city where Paul escaped in a basket (Act 9.25). Will we be more courageous than St Paul?

(3) A REGARD FOR HOPE:

Facing despair the Church looks for hope. From this abyss of suffering she sees bright spots:

(a) The mutual assistance and solidarity expressed spontaneously by poor families who open their doors to impoverished refugees.

(b) There are new initiatives for dialogue and reconciliation between enemies.

(c) A resurgence of faith strengthens our communities. The Gospel is our reference and inspiration. The faithful come to mass, even under the threat of bombs, and devote much time to the prayer and Eucharistic adoration.

d) An abundance of priestly vocations are flourishing, despite the decline in the birth rate.

(e) Religious, nuns and lay people animate centers of psychological support for children and young people traumatized by violence.

f) A new strategy for living, based on the Social teaching of the Church, is being implemented through ecumenical dialogue involving all groups in this country at war.

(g) A family pastoral mission has development that is based on listening and accompaniment. Without the family there is no Church.

All of these are softened by the gaze of Mary, Mother of God, OUR LADY OF PEACE.

"HAPPY THE PEACEMAKERS"

+Samir NASSAR

Maronite Archbishop of Damascus

1 http://english.alarabiya.net/en/2014/02/20/Who-s-responsible-for-Geneva-II-failure-.html

What our Postulants have been up to

Thursday was the co-Foundress' birthday (she'd be 120!); too back I didn't see this until today! It was prepared by our postulants while at Texas A&M Catholic Center with our vocations team--just a few weeks ago, about the time of Mother Thecla's anniversary of death.

A Peek inside the Pope's Office (and the sound of his kind voice)

The Holy Father welcomed a visitor to his office--and then, when the visitor pulled out his iPhone, asking for a message for a Pentecostal gathering back home, offered a warm reflection. He started with a greeting in very labored English, and then continued in Italian. Don't worry, there are subtitles! 

The fact that the visitor didn't have to leave his iPhone outside of the "Domus" is noteworthy to me! On the few occasions I was able to meet Pope John Paul, we had to drop off our purses, cameras, basically everything but our rosary and hankie, in a hallway!

Afternoon meditation: the Works of Faith

Today's readings give us the punchiest (not to mention most controversial) line in Scripture: "faith without works is dead!" The flip side, which we don't often hear, is about works without faith. What are they?

You might say it depends; that there are plenty of fine and praiseworthy accomplishments that seem to have no connection at all to faith, but do wonders for the human race.

True enough. The "brother or sister who has nothing to wear and no food for the day" is right to welcome a good work in the form of a hot meal or warm coat, without verifying the faith (or lack thereof) that might have inspired the giver.

US Bishops' prayer intention for Friday fasting: We
ask martyrs who have died for Christ to intercede for
people  around the world who suffer persecution
so that they can continue to witness to the faith.

In the light of today's Gospel ("follow me"), I am reminded that faith directs our attention not to the job to be done, but to the persons involved--starting with Jesus, who made himself the hungry, thirsty, naked one ("you did it for me…"). A faith that keeps me focused on "works" while giving me permission to ignore human beings is pseudo-faith, a facsimile, a fraud. It's worse than dead: it's deceptive.

Today's readings remind me that we are here on earth to learn to love. Not to get something done, not even the job of spreading the Gospel.

The actual Gospel is spread by our manifesting Jesus in an effective way; making him truly, really and substantially present in ourselves, through the gift of self.

Afternoon meditation: As God thinks

Strong readings for today's liturgy!

James (sounding, actually, very much like Pope Francis in some of his rather direct summations of
things) warns against giving preferential treatment to the great ones of this world. He describes (at length) the way we can fawn over a social notable, while dismissing the poor. In the words of today's Gospel, this is "thinking not as God thinks, but as human beings do." And James helps us "think as God does" when he reminds us that God "chooses the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom."

Pope Francis takes up where James left off. The whole of the Pope's Lenten message is about the spirit of poverty, and in that, about thinking as God thinks: "He does not reveal himself cloaked in worldly power and wealth but rather in weakness and poverty: 'though He was rich, yet for your sake he became poor …'."

If you haven't read Pope Francis' Lenten message yet, the time is now: Ash Wednesday is just a week and half away! You'll be impressed with Pope Francis' complete vision of the kinds of poverty in the world, what the Christian spirit of poverty is, and how the Gospel is the antidote for "spiritual destitution." 

This Lent, may each of us put on the mind of Christ, and begin to really, consistently, "think as God thinks."

Nunblogger Radio

Bishop Fulton Sheen's Eastern Miter,
in the studio at St Stan's, Chicago.

This was this morning:
Tune in at The Winds of Change Show in just a few minutes (noon, Central Time) for an inside look at the Catholic Press when I interview Joyce Duriga, editor of the Chicago archdiocesan newspaper.

This is now:
Today's show is archived and ready for you to listen to at your leisure: An inside look at the newspaper of one of the largest and most complex archdioceses in America, plus music from the Daughters of St. Paul Choir ("Be it Done to Me" and "On Eagle's Wings") and news about books!

We broadcast this from a studio equipped not only with the finest technological tools, but with a relic of St Faustina on the desk, a relic of Blessed Francis X Seelos (New Orleans!) on the shelf, and the "Eastern miter" of Bishop Fulton Sheen (who could celebrate the liturgy in our more familiar Latin rite, as well as in the Byzantine rite).


The musical selections in today's show were:
Be it Done to Me, from Sing Your Praise
On Eagle's Wings, from Celebrating 20 Years: Best Loved Songs

Community update

We've had some comings and goings here in the Chicago convent. Sister Helena, formerly of Chicago and now of Toronto, came through for several days to give talks in the area (and then to cart the remainder of her books and equipment up to Canada). She had been planning to drive back on Monday, but the intense snowstorm (thundersnow! two inches of snow an hour!) convinced her otherwise. So she spent a good part of yesterday afternoon loading the van, only to be delayed by a dead battery. (She made it back safely thanks to our prayers, a new battery and her ability to drive through the night.)

Remember Snoopy's "Suppertime!" dance?
That's us when Sister Gemma is in the kitchen!

Meanwhile, four sisters arrived to visit the showrooms of religious article dealers in view of our bookstores' Christmas needs. Sister Gemma prepared a Korean-style dinner to welcome the guests. We had electric skillets on the tables, bubbling with oxtail broth, into which we could dump our choice of chopped cabbage, mushrooms, zucchini, shrimp and thinly sliced ribeye. (Needless to say, it was a hit.) Sister Gemma will be in the kitchen again today, fixing us a traditional Korean New Year's meal--she says it is still the Chinese New Year, and she wasn't able to observe the tradition two weeks ago.

Although a couple of the sisters will leave on Friday, Sister Maria Kim will be arriving on Saturday. She, Sister Frances and Sister Gemma will be presenting our Catholic school bookfair program to the principals of the Catholic schools of Chicago. We hope there will be a lot of interest; the Superintendent of Schools for the Archdiocese gave the program a hearty endorsement!

I had a big deadline this week (met it!) and now I can sort of ease back into a more regular pattern, even though now that will mean alternating writing projects with packing (mostly) books for storage. The flight I booked allows a single checked bag (50 pounds), and for $100, another 50-pounder. I have enough miles to upgrade (two "free" 75-pounders!), but when I went to actually do that, the United.com site had tacked on a $425 "service fee" in addition to the (many) miles. Forget that! Jesus must be challenging me to trust that two 50-pound bags will hold all I need for the coming year abroad--after all, he sent his own apostles out with not so much as a spare tunic! (But then, they were all guys...)

Meanwhile, it is a balmy 39 outside (who needs a coat?) and the snow is melting fast. I'll make sure to take the long way on my errands this afternoon so I can soak in the sun!

Afternoon Meditation: Love is in the Air

St. Cyril sends "love."

Ah, the Feast of Sts Cyril and Methodius, inspiring thoughts and gestures of warm affection, the distribution of chocolates, and heart-shaped messages in the cyrillic alphabet… Don't you just love the way the Liturgy inspires even the simplest cultural expressions?

Okay, so most people are not honoring Cyril and Methodius with hearts, flowers and chocolate. But maybe they should be! These are the patrons of the Sochi Winter Olympics; the men who delivered the message of Divine Love, the Gospel, not only by transposing the message as they learned it into a different culture, but even inventing new "media" to help the message take root! As confusing as the Parade of Nations was for most of us ("why is Venezuela coming before Germany?"), it had Cyril's fingerprints all over it.

If you were going to transpose the Gospel into a completely new culture, what medium would you choose (or invent)?

Oh, wait a minute. The "New Evangelization" means that we are transposing the Gospel into a new culture!

Lady Edith as Everywoman

Here in the Pauline household (and not only!), Downton Abbey is as popular as it is in any female-run home. Sister Frances told us that one of her design professors recommended that they study the woodwork of Highclere Castle, so technically she is watching it for professional reasons, but the rest of us just enjoy the engaging period drama (and the costumes). And sometimes it makes you think, too.

This Sunday's episode (SPOILER ALERT, but don't tell me you watched the Olympics during Downton) it was no surprise to learn that Lady Edith, ever unlucky in love, is carrying the child of her (also unlucky in love) married fiancé, who has vanished somewhere in Munich. Feeling she has no "choice," she decides upon "killing the wanted child of the man I love." Thankfully, she comes to recognize this as a terrible mistake and we are left to see how she will deal with the circumstances. It all makes for good dramatic content in a way that "getting ride of it" could never do.

There was a lot to think about and talk about in the treatment of Edith's "choice." The aunt who was both forthright (Edith's attempt to hide the truth not only from her family but from Michael, presuming his happy return, means that her entire future will be built upon a lie) and supportive (the famous "I'll support you in whatever you decide" that is the expected response in matters of "choice"). There's Edith's predicament itself, especially how she seems driven above all by external pressures, the expectations that she seems to have built her life around fulfilling. There's the child and the sadly dismissive epithet that will follow him or her every day to come. But I also keep thinking of how, much like many other women today, Edith went to an abortionist carrying "the wanted child of the man she loved," a man who had disappeared.

How many "wanted children" are lost because the father threatened to (or actually did) walk out on the woman who trusted his love? Women aren't wrong to expect the man in their lives to welcome a new life that represents their mutual love, but a heartbreakingly large number of them find out differently. And those women who do bring their children into the world are more likely to raise them in poverty. Clearly, what women want (and need) is having a faithful, supportive husband. Just ask Lady Edith.

So why is Planned Parenthood doing a Valentine's Day promo with a social media hashtag #whatwomenneed and making sure it includes abortion and birth control? (Seriously; see below.) Has the nation's biggest abortion provider never heard a woman speak about "the wanted child of the man I love" before putting her on the table?

Here is Planned Parenthood's Cecile Richards suggesting that abortion is a happy-face need and (presumably) a great gift for Valentine's Day (odd that none of the list of things on Richards' list involve actually having a husband around). Responding to the invitation, Women Speak for Themselves took the #whatwomenneed hashtag places Richards hadn't…planned. (Add yours on Twitter or Facebook!)



And a few of the voices in response to the #whatwomenneed tag. They seem to know what it took Lady Edith a bit longer to recognize...

My First E-book

It's a pamphlet, really. And only available in electronic format. But if you have trouble keeping up with Pope Francis is saying and doing, it might be just what you are looking for. In a way, the release couldn't be more timely, since today is the anniversary of Pope Benedict's bombshell--the announcement that brought us where we are today.

As you can imagine, I'd be very pleased for you to share this link and the information far and wide. (Here's the short link: http://amzn.to/LSUvjh)

Afternoon meditation: With your whole heart

There's something about today's readings that would make them suitable (if unlikely!) for Valentine's Day--that feast day being transposed from the popular romantic level to the deepest level of love possible: God's love for us, responded to fully. There's also the poignancy of King Solomon praying about the people being "faithful to you with their whole heart" when he would turn out to be less than wholehearted in God's service himself.

The theme of responding to God's love with the whole heart is the background of today's Gospel, too. Provoked by the critics who observed the ritual omission of his disciples (how do you observe an omission, anyway?), Jesus complains that they have taken the heart out of the divine precepts, replacing God's priorities with temporal values, replacing love with a legal fiction. Without even realizing it, and believing they were upholding all things good and holy, "they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the creator" (see Rom. 1:25).

On today's feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, we hear again the dramatic call from Mary, "Penance! Penance! Penance!" Not in a vacuum, not as a value in itself, but as an act of love, acknowledging the compromises we tend to favor as a way of not-quite-loving, not-quite-sinning. A penance that restores the right order of things, and lets God stake his claim on us--and our whole heart.

Afternoon meditation: The big question

John the Baptist, from Santa Maria
sopra Minerva, Rome (school of
Michaelangelo). 

Today's two readings each look back in admiration on a great man of God. As different as the lusty king and the ascetic prophet seem to be from one another, as different as their lifestyles between the palace and the desert, the Gospel of Luke tells us how similar they really were. It was David who "leapt with joy" as the Ark of the Covenant was carried into Jerusalem, while the unborn John the Baptist leapt with joy (same verb, and clearly a deliberate evocation of David's story) at the arrival of the pregnant Mary and her Son.

Maybe that is why I could play with the Gospel of John's martyrdom today. You see, Herod invited his daughter (that is how the lectionary has it) to ask for anything whatever and it would be granted. She went to her mother for advice, and we know how that turned out. But our King, Jesus, has been known to make the same offer. For example, to Thomas Aquinas: "You have written well of me, Thomas. What do you want in return?"

What would I reply? Taking a cue from today's Gospel, I went to my mother, Mary. "What should I ask for?"

The answer surprised me.

"The heart of John the Baptizer."

If I needed more of an explanation, I only had to go to the first reading where, mutatis mutandae, the description of David fits: "with his whole being he loved his Maker."

Here's an interesting exercise: Pray Psalm 45 in the spirit of John the Baptist, knowing that it is he who first identified Christ as "the Bridegroom."

Afternoon meditation: Put on your walking shoes

There is so much in today's Gospel of Jesus sending the 12 out on mission. He tells them to pack light--really light. He has given them authority; that's all they really need. If they are not listened to, he tells them not to insist, not to harangue, but to move on. There is a non-possessiveness even about them message that is impressive.

We were talking about this Gospel today in community, and two of the sisters kept referring back to an incident which happened in our bookstore Monday afternoon when a man came in to buy a crucifix for the friend he was with. Turns out that any time something hurtful comes his way, he tries to undo it with an act of kindness for someone else. (The sisters were really impressed with his gentle goodness.)

After he made his purchase, Sister Yvonne invited him to come any time to visit the chapel, and she showed him where it was. He entered, and Sister went back to her tasks. Some minutes later, the man came to the front counter, his hand held over his heart, fingers spread wide like he was trying to keep his heart from jumping through his coat. Blinking back tears, he told the sister at the front desk, "There's something in there." He swallowed hard, patted his hand to his chest again and repeated, "There's something in there." 

Sister Yvonne commented that real evangelization happens when we are empty enough to let God act; it isn't something we do; we are just present--even when (Sister Edward Marie jumped in here) the words are coming out of your own mouth! You know those aren't your words; you have to listen to what you are saying so that you yourself can take it in and let it transform you!

This is pretty much what St. Paul said, too: not I, but the grace of God in me.

Venerable Mother Thecla, 50th Anniversary

Today is the 50th anniversary of the death of Ven. Mother Thecla Merlo, co-foundress of the Daughters of St. Paul and mother of the whole Pauline Family.

I didn't really know anything about Mother Thecla (in house we call her "Prima Maestra Thecla"--as in "our first teacher/guide") when I first entered the Daughters of St Paul. I heard about her from sisters for whom she was still an affectionate presence, but even so I didn't quite appreciate her or the role she played in the Pauline Family as the primary feminine collaborator of Blessed James Alberione. (This despite the fact that Blessed James himself testified to her holiness--he had been her spiritual director for 50 years!--and got her cause for canonization started.)

Then I read a collection of spiritual writings by the Servant of God Isaac Hecker, founder of the Paulists. This American spiritual giant, as devoted a follower of St. Paul as Alberione was, how was it that he left no women disciples to carry on his work? Why are there no feminine Paulists? Surely the America of the nineteenth century, the America of Luisa May Alcott and Harriet Beecher Stowe, had some Catholic women who would have shared Hecker's vision and collaborated in his mission! And yet Hecker never found her.

All along, I had unthinkingly assumed that if Alberione had not met the frail young Merlo, someone else would have done the job. Hecker disabused me of that notion. He looked far and wide for a woman like that, and to this day there are no "lady Paulists" (though the Paulists have a wonderful lay associates community).

My unappreciative evaluation of Mother Thecla goes well with today's Gospel, in which the neighbors of Nazareth write off "the carpenter's son" as just too ordinary to be all that the people in the other villages say he is. Later in the Gospels, we find some of Jesus' relatives coming around. They didn't cling to their dismissive opinion, but let the facts speak for themselves. I'm glad I "came around" to appreciate our "Prima Maestra," too--and now I pray for her intercession on a daily basis!

Afternoon meditation: the faith that saves

Today's readings have some pretty striking things in common. Both the first reading and the Gospel deal with life and death, and both involve parents facing the loss of a child. In the first reading, that loss is definitive (until the "resurrection of the body" that we profess every Sunday); in the second, premature death is defeated by an overwhelming power of life.

Have you ever noticed that in the Gospels, death is never, ever present where Jesus is? Martha and Mary were absolutely justified in telling Jesus, "If you had been here, our brother would not have died." Did Jairus, the father who left his daughter's deathbed to find Jesus, know that?

The only thing any of them could do was hold on to faith. ("If you believe, you will see the glory of God," Jesus told Martha, while to the frantic father, he said simply, "Do not be afraid; just have faith.") That faith was demonstrated by the woman who reached out to touch Jesus' robe as he moved through the crowd. As far as God is concerned, even the most tenuous connection to Jesus is enough to draw the power of life from him. His clothes became a sacrament!

"Power went forth from him…"

It still does. 

Do we have that faith?

Afternoon meditation: We are Legion

Over the weekend I started to divest myself of the books that had been on the shelf for years without my referencing them once (you know, those "I ought to read this some day" titles) or that would die of neglect in the community library or that the community library already has. Those are now for sale on Amazon, with the proceeds going to the community's "mission fund" (and, we hope, an eventual updating of our book center and conference room). 

I'm also swamped with deadlines and commitments and plans. Even though my move to England is still months away, I am finding myself overwhelmed already by all the things I have to do before I take off on Easter Tuesday. Maybe that's why today's Gospel seemed so relevant. I think it is a very fitting picture of the things that can keep us from God:

• The roster of worries, the overwrought anxieties: "We are Legion."
• The "things to do" that get in the way of living in the moment, the distractions available through social media: "We are Legion."
• The false priorities, the unrealistic expectations and demands we impose on ourselves and others: "We are Legion."

Into all this chaos walks Jesus. In his presence, the distracting "many" become unified;  the "tranquility of order" is restored; everything that exists begins to be seen in the light of God's providence, the way David recognized God's will behind the insults and stones of Shimei. Blessed James Alberione put it this way: "In the theology of those who have faith, chance is non-existence. There is only God…" When we see "Legion" we are only looking at the surface.